Back away from the cargo shorts and listen up, bruh
Written by RJ Firchau
It’s true men hate half of the things we ladies love — leggings, Ugg boots, rompers, and high-waisted jeans to name just a few. We get it. We’re not always going to see eye-to-eye when it comes to fashion. But just because we don’t agree about every passing trend doesn’t mean you should completely disregard our advice. Like it or not, there are just some universally loathed clothing styles that are deal-breakers for many women — and how hard is it really to stop wearing socks with sandals?
Here’s our top ten list of the things women wish you’d stop wearing. If you’re committing any of these sartorial sins, it’s time consider a wardrobe overhaul.
Cargo-rific Shorts and Pants
Cargo shorts and pants have never been a great look, but for some reason, the trend won’t seem to die. Let’s not even talk about those cargo pants that transform INTO shorts.
And what are you keeping in all those pockets anyway? The entire discography of Limp Bizkit on cassette? Your five favorite Goosebumps novels? A six pack of Crystal Pepsi? Your prized pog collection? Tater tots? Another pair of cargo shorts?
The Deeeep V-Neck Tee
There is nothing fundamentally wrong with the v-neck. It’s a unisex staple and pretty much as basic as it gets. But when you take the vee to extremes, it shows off a bit more skin than most mortals can stomach. We’re talking super-deep-please-look-at-my-bulging-pecs-and-shag-carpet-chest-hair type plunging neckline tees.
The bottom line? If you’re showing off more cleavage than we are, it just feels wrong.
Extreme Sports Sunglasses
Unless you have a valid utilitarian need for these bad boys, please stop with the aerodynamic, mirrored, quadruple-polarized eye gadgets. It’s not a good look. Extreme sports sunglasses scream “I have no sense of style” not “I’m ready for action.”
The right pair of sunglasses can elevate any man’s look, so please, step away from the joke-leys and grab a simple pair of wayfarers or aviators. Our eyes will thank you.
And if you’re wearing your sunglasses on the back of your head like Guy Fieri, may the gods of fashion smite thee with a bolt of lightning.
The “Funny” Graphic Tee
We get it. You’re too hilarious to care about how you look. Honestly tho? Graphic tees with corny phrases are unflattering. They have a way of making you look equal parts childish and insecure. If you’re wearing a shirt with a phrase you wouldn’t say out loud in sober circumstances, you should really rethink your stylistic choices.
Life is not a frat party. So put down the beer bong, change out of your obnoxious graphic tee and let’s move on with our lives.
Super Short (or Super Long) Shorts
Short shorts is not a trend we endorse — unless of course, you have the legs of an Olympic marathon runner. In that case, mmmboy.
Oh, and while they’re probably comfortable, those super long, baggy shorts that carry on past your knees are also a no-go. They’re basically one step removed from manpris, a style so hideous it’s permanently burned into our retinas.
We prefer to see a man wear shorts that hit at just above the knee. A pair of shorts with a perfect length that tapers in all the right places, shows us that you understand how to “adult”.
Heavily Branded Clothing
It should be obvious — no self-respecting woman wants to date a walking billboard. Why some men drop wads of cash on clothing that transforms them into an unpaid advertisement is a mystery. At that point, shouldn’t the brands be paying them and not the other way around?
Simply put, clothing that screams the designer’s name at the world is annoying. And in reality, it can actually make you look cheap or even wasteful. $55 on a pair of underwear? We’re not impressed.
We’re not saying you can never wear sandals (though some women heartily disagree), but dollar store flip-flops are a no-go. So unless you’re walking to and from the shower at the gym — or you’ve got hot sand under your feet and salty ocean air in your nostrils, wearing flip-flops is just plain awkward.
And we’re pretty sure it’s illegal to publically flip-flop in most states at this point. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Baseball Caps, Backwards
If you’re wearing your baseball cap backward (or oh… please… god no… sideways?!), odds are you don’t really need a hat in the first place?
On the other hand, if you’re only wearing the hat because you’re too lazy to shower, shame on you. Then again, at least you have an excuse, right?
BONUS: Even if you’re wearing your hat facing the right direction, please avoid the anti-gravity look.
Clothes That Make You Look Like You’re Shrinking
If you’re a size M shopping for XXL t-shirts and pants that look like they were designed to swallow you whole, we have one question for you: WHY?
The simplest thing a guy can do to spoil his everything is to wear clothes that don’t fit properly. If your wardrobe is three sizes too big, you’re basically telegraphing to us ladies that you can’t be bothered to care.
Well, either that or you don’t own a mirror?
The Look-At-My-Muscles Tank
Contrary to popular bro wisdom (brosdom?), workout tanks and homemade sleeveless tees do not enhance your muscles or give you an instant tan. All they actually do is evoke laughter and sneers from the innocent onlookers you’re visually assaulting.
We know you want to show off those guns, but please, holster your weapons. If you wear clothes that fit right, trust us, we’re going to notice anyway. Plus, it’s important to give the impression you care about more than just your own appearance — and the muscle tank isn’t helping your cause.
A Grain of Salt
Of course, we are firm advocates of wearing clothes that make you happy and comfortable. This list exists merely to give you a better understanding of a few things that SOME women (and some men too) don’t care for. What you do with this knowledge is entirely up to you.
What are your fashion pet peeves? Let us know in the comments.
Photo Of RJ Firchau
SOURCE: THE GENTLEMANUAL