Dating Apps: 9 Ways To Spark Chemistry With Her

Pump some life into your chats
with these tips.

Written by Janet Hu

Dating apps get a boatload of
flack for being superficial, but the truth is that most singles are on at least
one to a few apps. In fact, 23% of people in the U.S. have met long-term
romantic partners online.
Apps are a great way to meet
someone you may have never bumped into. When you’re flooded with hundreds of
images of faces, though, it’s hard for anyone to stand out. Your dating apps
experiences become a blur of sun hats, puppy filters, and stock-image-worthy
That’s why you need to have
incredible conversation game to spark chemistry with someone you’ve yet to
meet. Check out these chat starters that will transform the way you use dating
Ask a “Would you rather…”

dating apps couple at beach
A “would you rather” question
is a fun way to start a conversation on dating apps. And you’ll get to know how
her mind works. Steer clear of unpleasant extremes though. No one wants to be
ambushed with choosing between lost limbs and burning houses.
If her dating app profile says
she likes to cook, you could ask, “Would you rather have Gordon Ramsay as your
personal chef, or would you rather be be a better chef than Gordon Ramsay?”

Ask for a recommendation

dating apps coffee shop girl
Ask her to recommend a new Netflix
series, a good book, a cool bar or coffee shop. People love plugging their
favorite venues and artists, and you’ll learn about her choices in
entertainment. If her favorite restaurant is Hooters, you might consider it a
red flag (or hey, maybe not).
It also wouldn’t hurt if you
discovered something you like for yourself through sourcing recs.

Ask what she’s looking for on
dating apps

dating apps intimate couple
Inquiring what she’s looking
for on dating apps is perfectly fine. You’re both capable of being mature about
your expectations. However, avoid flat statements like “I don’t want anything
serious.” She might not either, but declaring it outright kills the mood.
Instead, state you’re seeking
something casual in your profile. You can also say that your schedule won’t
allow for a serious relationship. Even short flings need a softer touch to get
them going.

Compliment a physical feature

dating apps cute girl
Everyone enjoys a compliment,
and stating your attraction ignites instant chemistry. Just make sure it’s
suitable. Let her know you like her eyes, her smile, her dress, even her lips.
Definitely don’t tell her you admire her breasts or backside, unless you want
to end up as a featured screenshot on her social media rant.
When observing a physical
trait, a good adjective is “cute.” There’s nothing wrong with “beautiful,”
“gorgeous,” or “sexy,” but “cute” teases the line between friendly and flirty.

Share a random fact

guy from dating apps
Share something interesting
that you’ve recently learned. Did you know that the King of Hearts is the only
King without a mustache? Bet you didn’t, but we made you check.
When she shares your
entertaining tidbit with others, she’ll think of that cool, fun guy she chatted
with on that dating app. There’s something about knowledge and humor that exude

Talk about your goals

Dating apps hiking couple
Talk about your goals, both
short and long-term. And your goals don’t have to be about work. Maybe you’re training
for a marathon, or you started brewing your own beer. Maybe you’re nourishing
your creativity by designing novelty socks. It’s sexy to pursue different
passions and new hobbies.
While relationships are great,
don’t forget to focus on self-development. Becoming a strong individual makes
you more attractive.

Ask about something in her
dating app profile

dating apps cute couple
Asking about her dating app
profile shows right off the bat you’re taking time to figure her out. You could
ask the backstory to one of her photos or why she’s chosen to share a certain
fact about herself.
Her profile is her thought-out
first impression, which she spent hours crafting to perfection–okay, maybe
that’s just you. Nevertheless, show enthusiasm for her personality, and don’t
be afraid to vet her interests gently against your own.

“Going to Whole Foods. Need me
to pick you up anything?”

dating apps couple at fair
A witty one-liner from a TV
show or song can be charming on dating apps. Just make sure it’s relevant
enough that she can be in on the joke.
If she knows the reference,
you may have swiped right on your soulmate. And if she’s unfamiliar with the
quote… well, at least you’ve shown your sense of humor, right?
Ask her out

dating apps dinner date
If you’d rather get to know
each other in person, you can ask her out directly. Maybe you thrive offline.
But be aware, not everyone is game for spontaneous meetups with strangers.
We’ve all seen too many sketch craigslist postings.
Cover your general bases:
name, where you live, what you do. Then make it seem that you’ll happen to be
in her area around a certain time. Suggest a public place, maybe even one of
these great outdoor date ideas.
With dating apps, you’ll need
extra zest in your conversations since you can’t rely on eye contact and body
language. Be funny, focus on her interests, and show her something new.
Follow these tips, and she’ll
be dying to meet you in person. If you’re still figuring out which dating apps
are right for you, check out our breakdown on the various apps for online
What are some of your dating
app chat wins and catastrophes? Let us know below

Janet Hu – Editor of The GentleManual

Kayode Ojo
Kayode Emmanuel Ojo is the Co-Founder and Managing Director at SHEFFA Limited. He is presently studying Computer Science at the National Open University, Victoria Island, Lagos.