boy”… This particular statement, trust me, is more valuable than
anything in this world. When you hear such, I’m sure the tribe that strikes
your mind first is the YORUBAS. And of course the Igbos, Ọ
nwere nwa agbọghọ,
nwere ego, eziokwu! (if you have a girl, you have money). Generally in Africa,
we so much believe in having a male child. Yes, because who will take on the
name of the father if not the male child?But thank God that that mentality has
a little bit reduced now compared to the olden days.
ó!” (thank God for safe delivery). That was the greeting my mother
received at the hospital where she put to bed. You should know that after that
statement, the next thing you are going to hear is, “ọkùnrin
àb’obìnrin?” (male or female)… Of course then, the Yorubas don’t believe
in “abarameji” (hermaphrodite) as normal child as they usually say
they are possessed child who are like punishment from the gods. Well, we do
believe now as a result of science! OK, after the “ọkùnrin
àb’obìnrin” (male or female), my mother joyfully answered, “ọkùnrin”
(male). And trust me, the kind of joy from family’s response will be like
“eeee oluwa seun ooo” (yes, thank God). You know say we Yoruba we
sabi make noise well. If you hear exclamations like, yeee, aaaah, ehn ehn, know
that person is full-fledged Yoruba!
saying jàre, the family was very happy for my mother and she herself was indeed
happy having her first child as a male child is indeed a blessing! Next, she
was in the family way again, and guess what, it was another “Mama na boy!”…
too, but my mother wanted to complement herself at least she should have
someone that will be gossiping with her now. “I’ve gotten two boys,
topping it up with a girl won’t be a bad idea”, she must have thought. So,
she was in the family way again, and there she went!… It was another
“Mama na boy”….
lantilanti” (bouncing baby boy). She became five star general in the
family. My dear, 3 boys no be beans. At least not that thought of how
troublesome we boys can be.
must have felt and be laughing on your maternity bed.
said it’s OK! “the end lópin sinima” (THE END is end of a movie in
the cinema).. She was trying to catch her breath at least, it wasn’t easy…
Lord for these three wonderful bouncing baby boys” , those were the words
that was constantly coming out of my mother’s lips for some of years.
angel of God must have visited her one faithful day to show her vision on a
black and white TV with the slider over cover that my father used to have that year, to give in to take in!
Gbam! She took in with high hopes that it’ll be a girl this time, or I should
say TRY YOUR LUCK (I hope you all know that game that use to come out during
Christmas period… that you play and could luckily win blomblom (balloon)
faithful night on one weekend like that, there she was in the labour room.
have quickly dashed down her eyes to my sex organ to check, fortunately, yet
another ” Mama na boy!”…
God changed my sex organ that last day on my way out…
option, she hugged me still. Awwwww! I love you mama! She thought I would be a
girl, but she got another bouncing baby boy!
that four boys is not a child’s play! One boy is a blessing, two boys? Abundant
blessing. Three boys? Uncommon blessing. Four boys? Blessing in disguise of
ehn… Growing up was fun though, but trust me, as much as well trained we are,
I won’t lie, we gave her trouble big time that sometimes she’d have to call my
dad on the phone if he’s not around when we’ve started our in-house wáhàla. And
she will be like, “àwọn ọmọ
yín tún ti bere ó” (your children have started again)
knew what she wanted, I started playing the role of a girl for her… Lol…
I’ll plait her hair, sometimes I’ll insist to help her draw her eyebrow with
liner and eye pencils, I’d follow her to the market, help her arrange and brush
her wig before she gets back from work, well after I must have worn it half of
the day. Lolzzz. I’ll paint her nails, and she’ll paint mine too and rub me
powder, the type they use to call pancake those days.
bangles, wear her necklace, I’ll use her
lipgloss, not lipstick ó… Lol… I just love this woman, my love for her and
the bond was really strong! I failed to mention that sometimes I’ll just wear
her clothes and parade in front of her and she’ll be like “tin bá gba ẹ,
tó bá lọ
mi si lé” (If I hit you, will you go put off my clothes).. I’ll just start
laughing. And of course, sometimes I do tie her gèlè (headgear), even though na
nonsense I do tie some times. Lolzzz.
vibes, I’d drop this advice. A child is a child no matter what gender he or she
is. Whatever sex a child is, you can always create in him/her that image you
actually want in him or her. I watched a Nigerian movie some time ago. This
husband who happened to be a military man (Major General) was very desperate to
have a male child, but his wife ends up giving him 5 girls. He didn’t own up,
accepted the children “biologically” but not “mentally”. It
was later in his life he had to own up when he couldn’t have a male child in
his marriage, that the one and only reason he wanted a male child was that he
wanted a male child who will follow his legacy (becoming a soldier). Later on,
his wife now told him, if that was what he wanted he could have own up and just
agree with him to send one of their daughters to NDA (Nigeria Defence Academy).
And if it’s you as the father, looking for a child retaining your name, it’s a
thing you can always tell the husband of your daughter(s) that you want your
daughter to have a compound name, that is, his (husband) name and your (father)
name. Though don’t force this on him (the husband), just let him see reasons
why you want that.
the same, no child is greater nor better than the other. Even the so called male
children, some might even bring you – the father, a bad name that you’ll wish
he was never born. And some females will uphold their father’s name like a
treasure. Why I’m placing my strokes on the fathers and husbands is because,
they are mostly the ones who clamour for that. The wives or mothers no send
you, at least if not for any other thoughts, for the fact that, they changed
their own name, dropped their own father’s name and claim somebody else’s! So
to them, it’s not much of a biggie!
medium to celebrate all mothers out there, you people are wonderful! Without
you, this world would have been a messed up place! You are yet to be and
graciously looking up to God? This time next year, you will be smiling at yours
in your hands!
About The Author: Adeshile Adekolajo
Adekolajo is a graduate from the University of Abuja, He works for Ntel
Nigeria and we owns – Mccollybright.blogspot.com
is a writer, blogger and poet, to read more of his interesting and
educative articles, please log on to – mccollybright.blogspot.com.ng
Oluwole Olusanya is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of one of the fastest-growing lifestyle and entertainment website in the country. He is a banker, writer, blogger, public affairs analyst and a tax consultant. He anchors Trending Topics on SHEFFA where he shares his thoughts and opinions on trending issues.
He is currently studying for a Master’s Degree in Business Administration at the University of South Wales, Wales, United Kingdom. He has diplomas in Banking and Finance, Investigative Journalism, Creative Writing, and Linguistics from Lagos State Polytechnic, Isolo, Lagos, University of Strathclyde, Glasgow, Scotland and The Open University, Milton Keynes, United Kingdom.