POEMS BY ONE MICAIAH
Too many things are happening around her that she’s failing to take note of. Everyone except her can see that a whole lot is wrong with her.
Jane had just suffered a heartbreak. She has experienced a few heartbreaks in the past, one which was her losing her dad she loved so much, but this time it was different. Different in the sense that unlike the other guys, she had been with, Uche looked like her pictured perfect guy. Not only did he come into her life looking like everything she ever wanted, but he also made her seem like everything he ever wanted. With Uche, Jane always felt special. She could neither count the times he would assure her of his love, care and concern nor could she forget the countless times he kept the butterflies in her stomach alive. His ideologies and clear cut convictions were just not unconventional; they were helpful in spurring Jane to take several spontaneous decisions.
Jane was an obsessed lover. Not only was she thrilled by the so eloquent and well sort words from Uche, but the thoughts of Uche alone was also an uncontrollable feeling with Jane. Despite this, she also had her convictions too. She’s made out in hugs, kisses and some keeping hands busy stuff a whole lot of times, but she always set no sex boundary in every one of her relationships. Her perfect first sex experience to her, was that of her wedding night. Her fantasies about her wedding night is really wild, not very much of such fantasy has crossed people’s mind. Uche never talked about wanting to have sex. He always aided her ‘marriage-night’ fantasy. The best they did was play out scenes of what that night would feel like. She felt like her sex conviction was secured in Uche, but she forgot people change.
It was just some minute past 7:00pm one harmattan night, when they both decided to take a walk in the cold.
‘A long walk in the cold is one moment every two true lovers should crave… It’s really nice’. Jane recollects.
After several discussions on religion, politics, and the online world, it all at once felt like they had spat out all there is to talk about. Then there came a sudden silence, one both of them could not account for. No relationship obviously escapes this atmosphere.
Holding hands, staring at each other, with clear-cut smiles, they began to feel too many emotions popping up, trying to find practical expressions. At the peak of this atmosphere, Uche could not help but throw his hands around Jane, in what was a really lengthy hug. Jane had gone lost. The feeling was inexplicable. She had long awaited this day. The butterflies in her stomach were more intense. She loved her boobs to be felt.
Uche already being caught up in this euphoria, was unaware of Jane placing his hands on her boobs. He cupped it gradually. He ran his hands down to her spine ensuring they were busy alongside kisses. When they got out of this experience, they both were in their homes, reminiscing about that night. This is the genesis to something Jane never saw coming. Jane was too in love to understand that people change, emotions wither. She was too obsessed about the idea of love than seeing to understand what sustains it. People do change regardless.
Even the best of every person has an inner seed of change. Uche did change. He changed from every single thing Jane knew and loved him for. Jane was way too unfortunate to notice those changes because she was under this spell called love.
Fast forward to when the last bridge burnt. Jane was working back home, with mixed feelings of joy and disappointment. Disappointment in herself that she had just broken her conviction. All her marriage night thoughts and fantasies had just been shattered on Uche’s king-size bed. Yet joyful, because she consoled herself, to think she had just done it for love; to think she had just done it with the right person; to think it would keep him. She forgot that guys could be very patient and all good at putting up a façade of what they are not until they get that which they desire. Jane was unfortunate.
Very few phone calls, excuses after excuses, unnecessary anger, spotting faults at everything, and a few others were the Uche Jane got thereafter. Jane failed to still read between the lines. She would apologize for things she shouldn’t, give an explanation for things not worth it, she’d do the calling and smile at Uche’s excuses. Little did she know Uche was going like a vanishing point until he’s now someone she no longer knows in her life.
Now Jane is emotionally distressed. She can no longer pray. She can no longer read. She can no longer even relate well with her friends. She has lost faith in herself. She now hates herself. She no longer can love anyone. She comes out looking all confused and unkempt. She smiles when she shouldn’t. While everyone thinks she’s losing her mind, she thinks she’s fine. She isn’t.
Emotional uproar, emotional skip, and beats, the emotional fuss was what defined Jane now, and it’s really wearing on Jane. To get back to her academic feat; work out her faith once again; love her friends again, build her values again, and get any form of stability, what Jane needs is an emotional decorum. Do you think she’d get it?
Mikaiah Sunday Oyepintemi also known as One Micaiah is a Medical Laboratory Science graduate of the College of Medicine of the University of Lagos, a writer of poems and short stories and a lover of life. He is a believer of love and true friendship. Writing, to him, is the only way he can speak without talking. He hopes to write and publish as many books as he can, while alive. He looks forward to meeting new friends too. Please follow him on Twitter