WIGGLE* WIGGLE*
WIGGLE*
Snoop dog and Jason
Derulo please mind yourself!!!
 See as I for enter wahala ooo!!!
I was in the
kitchen preparing to serve dinner a long time ago when the unthinkable almost
happened……infact happened!!!
First of all
(before you go down low), just know that I loooove music!! Coming from a
“bathroom singing record breaking” artist, you shouldn’t be
surprised! I have a lot of songs in my phone and anytime I work, I just play
and sing along, and dance as I step into the mood.
So going through my
music player, you find a rare combination of songs. Gospel, hip pop, blues,
Country music, (I can literally fall in love with you if you love country
music), rap, just name it!!! . I may love the cool beats, the bridge or the
entire lyrics.
On my music player,
the first song on the list is “it’s been a long time without you my
friend” ( I guess you must have heard it in Fast and Furious), the second
song is by Chris Morgan “often as I breathe” (see the rare
combination I talked about right? *deep sigh*
I was enjoying
myself all alone in the kitchen, freestyling as I waltzed to the songs….without
warning, my mom entered the kitchen and the next song by Snoop Dog and Jason
Derulo was just starting.
I must warn you,
majority of our parents in Nigeria are really traditional and are not fans of
our modern day music.., and I love that because it really helped us growing up.
This is what
ensued:
·        
Snoop
Dog
:
Heyo Jason, say somethng to her
·        
Andikan:
(whispering Lord!!!)
·        
Jason
Derulo
: I got one question, how do you fit all that..
in them jeans?
·        
Andikan:
I am dead!
My
mom had gotten close to my phone now and I was mega confused!!
·        
Jason
Derulo
: you know what to do with that big *wiggle*
*wiggle* *wiggle*
·        
Andikan:
(faints) stands up, starts scattering plates, just to create as much noise as
possible, because if I touch my phone, she would get suspicious.
·        
Jason
Derulo
:****…stanza one
·        
Andikan:
mummy!! The pot is on my phone! meanwhille nothing was near my phone
oo…confusion!!
·        
Snoop
Dog
:
shake what ya mama gave u……….
·        
Andikan:
I start screaming my sisters’ name….to come and do nothing exactly!!
·        
Jason
Derulo
: come now baby…turn around
(Turn
around turn around hey!)
You’re
the star girl, take a bow
(Take
a bow, take a bow chei)
It’s
just one thing that’s killing me
How
do you fit that…in them jeans??
·        
Andikan:
strangely enough, Jason’s Derulo’s bridge is my best part of the song and here
I am, not singing loudly like I would do normally, but sweating furiously.
·        
Jason
Derulo
: you know what to do with *wiggle* *wiggle*
*wiggle*
·        
Andikan:
starts washing plates noisily, setting table, frying, all at once. I couldn’t
just wait for one of my best songs to just stop playing…
Phew!! What an
interesting evening!!
When you are
getting busted, no amount of noise will lower the volume of the music, the
lyrics go clear that moment like die!!
As for you Jason Derulo
and snoop dog, the thunder waiting for you both is still in the gym!!
Note: my mom kept
looking at me strangely all through the evening…and I just plastered a
permanent frown on my face too….ah ah..!!
Moral lesson:
The lesson from my
story is that…its not every story that has a moral lesson…*tongue out
Coman beat me…  I am IN MY HUSBAND’S HOUSE.
On a serious note
though…
·        
Always be yourself. Be true to
yourself, be known for something. If you are a good geh like me, fine!!!!!
·        
Don’t be a pretender, nor carry out
lip/eye service because it never pays.
·        
Define yourself for yourself. So you
are not caught up in the definition of others for you.
Have a wonderful weekend
as I wiggle away

About the Author
 
Here is what Andikan Inyang also known as ‘Sparks’ has to say about herself………………….



As
a Chemical Engineering graduate, former Immigration Officer and present
day banker…..and most importantly, a foodie, I hide behind my
pen…….therein lies my strength. I hope to pursue a career in writing
and explore the world of poetry. So help me God.
Oluwole Olusanya
Oluwole Olusanya is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of one of the fastest-growing lifestyle and entertainment website in the country. He is a banker, writer, blogger, public affairs analyst and a tax consultant. He anchors Trending Topics on SHEFFA where he shares his thoughts and opinions on trending issues. He is currently studying for a Master’s Degree in Business Administration at the University of South Wales, Wales, United Kingdom. He has diplomas in Banking and Finance, Investigative Journalism, Creative Writing, and Linguistics from Lagos State Polytechnic, Isolo, Lagos, University of Strathclyde, Glasgow, Scotland and The Open University, Milton Keynes, United Kingdom.