My name is Sarah
. I am 23years old and I haven’t
slept with any man. Growing up, we had relatives staying in our house. My dad
took care of them all. That day mummy traveled, Uncle Dexter came into my room
at night with lots of sweets and cookies, oh!! I loved cookies. I was six years
old. He kissed me and asked me to touch him, that he would give me more
cookies, I did. He would touch my body and play with me while I ate my cookies
joyfully. This continued for a long time and he said it was our secret, and no
one had to know, not even my best friend Noami.
I was 8years old
when he put his fingers in my pants. I wasn’t new to his advances but looked
forward to his goodies. He tried to put it in and I wanted to cry because it
was painful, he kept telling me sorry and dug his fingers in, closing his eyes.
This time it was different. It was painful and there was blood. Uncle Dexter
hurriedly cleaned me up and threatened me not to tell my parents or he would
cut off my neck. I was very scared; I didn’t tell mummy or daddy. Uncle Dexter isn’t
married till date. I AM NOT A VIRGIN.
name is Cindy
. I love sports!! Serena Williams is
one of my favourite women, and I one day hope to run as fast as Usain Bolt. I
take part in long jump, high jump and relay races. I do not joke with my
training. My coach says I will get to represent Nigeria one day at the Olympics.
After training last
week, I saw a patch of blood on my undies. I knew it wasn’t my menses. We keep
record of such things because medical issues are not treated lightly in the
team. I had to tell my coach. She referred me to the medical doctor who carried
out tests and checkups. I was told my hymen tore due to the strenuous exercise.
My name is Alice. I
can boldly say I am a good girl. I’ve been obedient to my parents and I adhere
to their instructions. I sing in the choir and do not miss service. I don’t
mess around and a lot of people respect me.
On Saturday evening
after studying, I decided to stroll round my neighborhood. I wandered away
from home, taking in and appreciating the beauty of nature. I wasn’t aware time
was far spent. It was past 6pm when I looked at my watch, I decided to take the
shortest route home. My biggest mistake ever!!!
It was a lonely
stretch, with overgrown bushes on the side. I hurried as I walked, feeling very
uncomfortable. I heard footsteps behind me, and turned to see some guys running
after me. I turned and increased my pace, only to bump into a bigger guy who
jumped out of the bush right in front of me. They pushed me into the bush,
stifled my screams, and took turns with me. There were three of them. I AM NOT
name is Ada
. I know I don’t quite fit into this
category, but I will still tell my story.
I grew up in a very
strict and religious home. I attended all the church programmes and crusades
while growing up. I wasn’t allowed to have male friends and they dared not
visit me. I was a very good girl until I got admitted into the higher
Since it was far
from home, I felt I was free. I now had time to explore. I was determined to
gain all I had lost. I partied, clubbed, drank and had sex!! Nobody forced me,
I chose this path. I experimented with the good, bad and ugly. I wanted
Now I know better,
I have changed my ways…but I AM NOT A VIRGIN!
The society taunts
them for not being virgins, nobody cares about history. Non-virgins are not
good “wife material” they say, but I am tempted to ask, does
virginity guarantee a successful home??
People call them
loose…but I see them as people who chance and circumstance happened to, some
made mistakes, dusted themselves and have forged ahead to become great women
and potential mothers.
I live a life where
I don’t judge people anymore. There is always a story behind a story.
To the likes of
Ada, Alice, Cindy and Sarah out there, this is from me to you, wherever you
are, pick up your self esteem from where you dropped it and shine like a
Anyone…and I mean
ANYONE who looks down on you because you are not a virgin, is not worthy of
you. Go out there and shine brighter than a diamond.
beautiful what you have, it’s priceless.. i am proud of you!! In this era of
moral decadence, where sex, porn, “babymamaism
is celebrated, “his banner over us is love* (u didn’t hear it from me
*winks*). Despite the peer pressure, you still preserved yourself, I am beyond
proud!!! Don’t ever give in, until the right time and also never allow it raise
your shoulder higher than normal…many people lost it in ways they would
sadly, never forget.
Remain loveable!!

About the Author
Here is what Andikan Inyang also known as ‘Sparks’ has to say about herself………………….

a Chemical Engineering graduate, former Immigration Officer and present
day banker…..and most importantly, a foodie, I hide behind my
pen…….therein lies my strength. I hope to pursue a career in writing
and explore the world of poetry. So help me God.

Oluwole Olusanya
Oluwole Olusanya is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of one of the fastest-growing lifestyle and entertainment website in the country. He is a banker, writer, blogger, public affairs analyst and a tax consultant. He anchors Trending Topics on SHEFFA where he shares his thoughts and opinions on trending issues. He is currently studying for a Master’s Degree in Business Administration at the University of South Wales, Wales, United Kingdom. He has diplomas in Banking and Finance, Investigative Journalism, Creative Writing, and Linguistics from Lagos State Polytechnic, Isolo, Lagos, University of Strathclyde, Glasgow, Scotland and The Open University, Milton Keynes, United Kingdom.