I had a very stressful day at work last Thursday, I have been shuttling between two branches since my colleague put to bed on the 31st of October, 2019. I had to resume in her branch the next day and it has been a roller-coaster experience. I have made a lot of new friends, met some fantastic and intelligent individuals, learnt a lot about her work and it has ultimately made me a better person but on the flip side, I have had to endure some very toxic people and some disappointing moments.
Obviously, Thursday was just another day; I had to resume in Ikeja, tidy up my tasks for the day and rush down to Ilupeju to continue with my relief duties. I was particularly offended by a colleague who lied against me in my presence. How can you claim that I asked you out when I never did? I mean, who does that?
Interestingly, the wonderful conversation I had with the tricyclist on my way home inspired this piece, I had previously plan to discuss my thoughts on the Amotekun Initiative in my column on the blog. The man told me about his marriage and how he has been enduring his relationship with the mother of his children the same way I have been enduring my relief duties and the annoying people I have to contend with on a daily basis. Undoubtedly, most relationships are like that.
Beyond the deception, fake impression and silly mirage, we orchestrate on social media about our lives, achievements and relationships and how marriages are supposed to look like, most romantic relationships and ultimately marriages in this part of the world are sometimes arranged because of the urgent need to address the demands the society place on individuals and families. In sub-Saharan Africa, where child marriage and other forms of child abuse are pervasive, there is a massive discrimination of women who are unmarried at a particular age. The resultant effect is evident of women doing whatever it takes to get and stay married.
Alternatively, while it is an established fact that women are at a particular disadvantage when we are discussing the matters of the heart, we should not forget that men also suffer a lot of abuse in romantic and platonic relationships too. Just like my conversation with the tricyclist, a lot of men have to endure toxic relationships in their matrimonial homes and places of work on daily basis.
Please follow the link to read something about Nathan.
Wikipedia defines a romance scam as a confidence trick involving feigning romantic intentions towards a victim, gaining their affection, and then using that goodwill to commit fraud. Fraudulent acts may involve access to the victim’s money, bank accounts, credit cards, passports, e-mail accounts, or national identification numbers; or forcing the victims to commit financial fraud on their behalf. (Source:
Moving swiftly on, my keke friend was very surprised when I told him about my relationship status and why I am not in a hurry to start a romantic relationship or get married. He believes – like most Nigerians, that marriage should be next in line after school and getting a job. Well, love is wonderful and marriage is magical, but love will be more meaningful when you are in love with the right person and both of you are ready to weather the storm and confront the challenges life will bring as we progress in the course of our daily activities and I do not believe that there should be a timeline to finding the right person.
My opinion: I will continue to enjoy the freedom being single and unmarried offers within the limits of living a reasonable and responsible life worthy of emulation while looking out for that Ms. Right. Until then, LOVE IS A FRAUD AND MARRIAGE IS A BONDAGE
God Bless Us All.
Oluwole Olusanya
Oluwole Olusanya is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of one of the fastest-growing lifestyle and entertainment website in the country. He is a banker, writer, blogger, public affairs analyst and a tax consultant. He anchors Trending Topics on SHEFFA where he shares his thoughts and opinions on trending issues. He is currently studying for a Master’s Degree in Business Administration at the University of South Wales, Wales, United Kingdom. He has diplomas in Banking and Finance, Investigative Journalism, Creative Writing, and Linguistics from Lagos State Polytechnic, Isolo, Lagos, University of Strathclyde, Glasgow, Scotland and The Open University, Milton Keynes, United Kingdom.