Ultimate Guide to Flirting in the Digital Age

Are your likes coming across
to her?

Written by Morgan Mandriota

Morgan Mandriota is a
contributing writer for The GentleManual, Buzzfeed, and Betches.
The digital age has
drastically changed the way we communicate with one another, especially when it
comes to relationships. We don’t write love letters anymore–we slide into each
other’s DMs. We don’t ask if someone is free to grab lunch–we creep on her (or
his) Snapchat story to see what she’s up to. We don’t give verbal compliments
when someone looks good–we drop heart eye or fire emojis in the comments
section of her Instagram photos.

What does any of this mean?
When asking someone out on a
date is considered too straightforward nowadays, but we want to let our crushes
know they’re on our radar, how are we supposed to drop hints? Is there a
rulebook to follow? Yup. Scroll down, Friend.


Ways to Subtly Flirt on Social

Yes, there are certain things
you can do to let her know that you’re feeling it without being over-the-top.
Here are a few easy, small ways to flirt on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat:
Like her content

social media flirting guide- like her posts
A simple, and perhaps THE
simplest, way to let someone know you’re into her is to like her new Instagram
post or react to her Facebook status. Although liking random status updates can
be glossed over, if you “like” or “love” the selfie she just posted, that’s a
much clearer sign that you’re attracted to her.
In fact, you may even be bold:
like an older photo just to show you’ve been on her profile. But beware of
over-liking photos or “deep liking” someone’s post from more than a year
ago–that’s a big thumbs down, and we’ll get that below.

Watch her stories

social media flirting-watching stories

People post videos from
everywhere now, on Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, and YouTube. Watching her
stories is a way to get to know her better. Does she watch yours too? If so,
consider responding to one of hers. Strike up a conversation or inquire about
the really cool place she just shared.
Tag her in videos and memes

social media flirting-tag her in memes
This is how relationships
start nowadays. First, you get tagged in a funny meme, then you tag her in a
meme the next day, then you keep sending memes back and forth until you fall in
love and get married. It’s that simple. When you see a photo that relates to an
inside joke you two share, a life quote, or anything you know she is or might
be into*, tag her in the comments or send it to her by DM.
*Pro (lurking) tip: not that
we’re condoning this… but did you know you can see what someone else likes in
your feed? On Instagram just go to your heart notifications center and choose
the “following” tab. You can see what posts your friends engage with and learn
what content interests them.

Which leads us to…

Slide into the DMs *NOT FOR

slide into DMs

DMing (or direct messaging)
should not be taken lightly. You can’t just slide into someone’s DMs without
reason. It’s strategic. It’s calculated. It must be in reply to something that
person posted, or it can be an important question about something that’s
relevant to both of you. Whatever message you
decide to send, make sure it’s smooth, calm, and not creepy, and hopefully
you’ll get a DM back.

Is She Into You Too? Signs
Your Flirting is Working

You’ve followed the steps we
just listed. Good job. Now you’re probably wondering if or when your crush is
going to start flirting back, or maybe even when you’re getting Coachella
tickets together. Cool your jets. Here are a couple of signs that your flirting
is well received and she might actually be into you too:
story stalking hinge
Your crush is listed at the
top of your Instagram story viewers
Did you know that the order of
people who watched your Instagram story is NOT random or in chronological
order? Nope. A theory that started on Reddit suggests that after the first 50
viewers, Instagram’s algorithm goes to work and begins organizing viewers from
top to bottom by who views and interacts with your profile the most… which
means you can literally see who creeps on your profile the hardest (or so we

She engages with your content

Your crush likes and comments
on your posts, just like you like and comment on hers. She also replies to your
Snapchat and Instagram stories. That’s a good sign. If she didn’t care, she
wouldn’t be taking the time to watch them or write you.
She also tags you in memes and
She reciprocates the meme and
video tagging. This is a big deal for two reasons: she is making the effort to
let you know she’s thinking of you, and she isn’t concerned about who sees the
public tag.

But What’s the Difference
Between “Flirting” & Creeping?

So there’s a fine line between
flirting and creeping. Do not — we repeat DO NOT — fall into the creep
territory, because once you cross that line, there’s literally no going back…

Don’t like all her new posts
as soon as she shares them

social media flirting-first comment

You’re creeping if any time
she shares a status update or posts a picture, you immediately like or comment
on it.
Regardless of whether you’re
actually waiting for her to post, or whether you turned on post notifications
for her, being too quick to engage with her content can send a red flag. If
you’re guilty of doing this, “A” for effort but please stop.

Don’t like posts from way too
far back

social media flirting-creeping

We’ve all accidentally liked a
photo from 7 years ago while creeping on someone’s Instagram. We get it. It’s
not normal for this to regularly happen though since most people don’t want
others to know they’re creeping. Don’t be a blatant creeper even if you don’t
care who knows it. Stick to the green zone: anything above two scrolls from the
top of her profile. And if she posts frequently, definitely don’t like photos
from a year ago, or worse: 2014.

Don’t keep sending messages
when you’re left on “read”

social media flirting left on read
You sent a photo on Snapchat
and your crush didn’t send one back. You sent her a DM and she didn’t respond.
Don’t keep sending messages and photos. Drop it for now, give it some time, and
let her reach out to you next.

Don’t immediately reply every
single time she writes to you

social media flirting-always online
You slid into her DMs and she
responded — great! Even if you were staring at your phone waiting for her
reply, be careful not to open and write back right away… every time… all the
time. Whether you ever put your phone down or not, constantly replying within a
minute could signal that she should run.

How To Take It Offline, Into

If you’re one of the lucky
ones and all goes well with your crush, you’ll eventually go Facebook official
or get tagged in a picture with a cute mushy caption on the Gram. But before
that happens, it’s important to take note of all of these cues and analyze what
they mean.
If you truly think this person
is receiving your flirting, and she’s interested in continuing to talk on a
deeper level, take a leap of faith and ask for her number or ask her out for a
drink. Just don’t take too big of a leap of faith–make sure you’re not asking
her prematurely or unfoundedly. If she continually shows interest, flirts back,
or even hints toward hanging out with you, go for it!
Now go “like” your crush’s
most recent photo (if it was posted within the past two days)!

Morgan Mandriota – Contributing Writer for The
GentleManual and for BuzzFeed. In her free time, she loves to travel, hike,
train Brazilian jiu-jitsu, eat tacos, and drink margaritas.

Kayode Ojo
Kayode Emmanuel Ojo is the Co-Founder and Managing Director at SHEFFA Limited. He is presently studying Computer Science at the National Open University, Victoria Island, Lagos.